One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
