A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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