If that was your dad, he is hot
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
