Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
