Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I supernannyed him into submission
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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