Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize