Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
