Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
