I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
