I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
