I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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