Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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