This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
