Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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