he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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