Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
