Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
