i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she peed on how many people?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
