In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
