I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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