im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
