Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're like the curious george of whores
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
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He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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