Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
