why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
