i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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