Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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