and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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