Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We don't watch enough power rangers
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize