Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
