two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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