Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Semen is not good for contacts.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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