Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
