I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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