butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize