i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I didn't notice because vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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