He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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