nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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