My room smells like vodka and shame
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
