This is not my ceiling
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
