All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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