you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize