need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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