Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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