actually, I'm a sock model
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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