my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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