My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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