dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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