I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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