if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize