guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
