I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
