do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
