so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
