she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
