I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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