is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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