do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
