how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
