I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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