Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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