Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
